Decisions, decisions.

This blog project started out with the topic Life Choices, so I'm going to let out my current dilemma. As a soon to be graduate, the biggest question plaguing me is, move out or stay at home? Most people have told me to stay at home as long as I can. The real world is an expensive place. Also seeing as how I won't be eighteen until august, I can't sign for an apartment anyways. However, I can not stand living at home. Anyone with young siblings can understand my viewpoint. I have a four year old little sister who likes to torture me in any way she can. I would love to have a peaceful place to call my own. When I think about it though, the world IS an expensive place. I need to find someone reliable to become my 'roomie' and share the rent. I am very responsible, and I know I can count on myself, but how do I know I can count on someone just the same? I'm also a very good money saver. I have about a thousand dollars currently saved up. For what, I haven't completely decided yet. The decision is a big one. Also, moving to a new place means buying all the things that come with comfortable living. Some of those privileged kids may not think about how towels get in their closets or their clothes somehow appear clean in their rooms, but I know. Those things require money, and washing machines and dryers, and laundry soap and static sheets, and oh so many little things! It's a bit overwhelming, looks like I'm most likely living off my mother for as long as I can. :]

Unexplained.

So, recently, I haven't been feeling so good. And this has made me wonder, what happens when our generation, or the generations after us, are born with or somehow get diseases and sicknesses that haven't been named or discovered? I know more than one person who recently have had major illnesses that can not be diagnosed. How can something no one knows anything about be treated? How much money goes to new research to find out these kinds of things? And how do the answers reach somewhat small towns like ours? I find this to be pretty troubling. One of my very best friends was diagnosed with stage four hodgkins lymphoma last year. She has been going through tremendous amounts of procedures, tests, and treatments since then. I can't even imagine the kinds of things she has gone through. In the last few weeks, she had a terrible constant headache that put her in the hospital. She then was given an MRI and a spinal tap. The poor girl. Anyway, neither of these things found answers to why she was having headaches. A neuro-doctor, I'm not sure what his title was, was called in to take a look. Even he was stumped. So what happens then? What happens when the experts don't know? Luckily, the headaches started receding on their own and she started feeling much better. I no longer have that sense of security I had as a child about doctors being able to fix whatever ails us. They know just as much as I do about the new things plaguing our nation's citizens. Okay, that may be an exaggeration, but they don't know much more than me.

Dreams.

Why do people dream? This is a question I have often wondered. I dream extremely ridiculous things just about every night. And I like to share the really good ones. I am one of those people who has extremely long and detailed dreams. When I have nightmares, I can usually realize I'm dreaming and I'll wake myself up. This has happened on more than one occasion. The most recent bad dreams have been about zombies/crazies (if you haven't seen the movie the Crazies, you won't understand the reference). I can certainly say that dreams are not premonitions of the future. At least mine are most definitely not. I don't see our futures having any outbreaks of zombies. I have heard a few theories of dreams. One of them being when we dream, our short term memory is being converted into long term memory. http://www.essortment.com/all/dreamspeoplewh_reyl.htm This website provides a little information on the wonderousness of dreaming. And there are many more like it. Most websites will tell you that everyone dreams. Also that dreams occur in the REM stages of sleep. REM stands for Rapid Eye Movement. I believe dreams are a way of people seeing all the crazy, subconscious thoughts they have throughout the day. It is said that if people didn't dream, they would go insane. The website I have linked in this blog talks about an experiment where people's dream cycles were messed up and they had complete changes in personality. I would go crazy if I couldn't dream too.

Graduation is Upon Us.

Once upon a time in Mexico...actually, i've never been there. Three days of school left, my brain shut down a month ago. I went to Riverdale's graduation today. They had a speaker, it was a man who fought in some war, the korean, i believe. He was a POW for six years, I was amazed. This man was truly inspirational, he talked about the choice we have as the graduating class of 2010. We have been given the choice to be winners or losers. We've failed at things, and we've succeeded at things. This gives us the next step up in life. We can go into the world knowing, if we just 'keep the faith baby', as he kept saying, we would go far in life. Even as just someone in the audience, that really struck a cord with me. This man also said that we have won the lottery just being born into America where we have the choice to do whatever our little hearts desire. His story was just so amazing. I can't believe how lively he was, after all he's been through, and he didn't mind telling us, he could stand there and say, be somebody. He went on to say that fellow comrades from his army days went on to be senators, governors, and even run for president. He knew John McCain! And then they announced the names and the graduating class started walking across the stage. All I could think was, that's me in a few days. One thing is for sure, when I walk across that stage, walkway, or whatever, I want to hear every one of my family members yelling my name. I'm extremely proud of myself for who I am becoming and all that I have done. I deserve to be yelled for. My aunt told me that some schools don't allow that though. She told me some kids from Galesburg got their diplomas held back because their families yelled. They had to get lawyers to get the diplomas. I find that incredibly ridiculous. Try to hold my diploma, I'll be the first one calling my lawyer.

The Right Path.

Life choices is such a broad category. I'm trying to find a definition I think best suits what I'm attempting to write about. I think what I'm getting at is, what exactly is the pursuit of happiness? Everyone's idea is different. What is the definition of a complete life? Getting married and having 2.5 children? Being entirely successful in a good paying career? Why are we still pressured to find 'the American Dream'? I found a blog that tried to answer the same question... http://www.whakate.com/emonitor/life-choices-and-the-definition-of-happiness. In the blog they say defining happiness is beyond hard to do considering the difference in opinion of what makes people happy. In my opinion, everyone should be entitled to pursue whatever it is that makes them happy, within reason of course. Another question I would like to find an answer to is, who decided it was their job to be the judge of what makes people happy? Although I doubt I'll find my answer, society and people are too complicated to figure out. Why do some people feel ashamed, guilty, or feel like they have failed if they don't fall into the "happy life" category? Who gets to tell someone whether or not the choices they make will turn into a happy life? Maybe that is what makes that person happy. I'm under the impression that our country stands for freedom, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It's driven into our minds in high school. So when we go into life, why are some looked down on for not wanting to ever get married? Or for wanting a dog instead of a child? In my experience and that of peers of my age and grade, high school is where the choices and pressures start. The biggest choice being, what are you going to be when you grow up? Just about every teacher talks about getting into a field that will have jobs and stay important, also that pay well. While at a visit to our community college, they very much stressed going to a field that makes you happy, not for the money. So what, as students and graduating seniors, do we do? What happens and how are those judged who don't make the "right choice"?